Parenting During Corona Virus

PARENTING THROUGH THE PANDEMIC

Tips for making it through this tricky time. Have other ideas that have been working for your family? Email me at olivia@mommygroove.com.

Know that it will not be perfect. Your family is adjusting to a vastly different routine. Expect push back from children as they adapt. Keep a positive attitude and don’t take it personally. Your children are looking to you for information about how to feel about this new set up. Good humor and a light touch go a long way toward reassuring them that you’ll get through this challenging time together.

Definitely let your workplace know about your current situation with children at home. Chances are most workers have limitations during this time with children present, less than ideal working environments, and the lack of helpful equipment and technology at home. If you set realistic expectations from the outset, you won’t set yourself up for failure.

ADVICE FOR WORKING AND PARENTING KIDS OF ALL AGES

Create a schedule—including breaks. Kids (and adults) thrive with a certain amount of predictability. Have a quick family meeting every morning to hammer out what the day will look like. A family whiteboard can serve as command central for scheduling. If you need quiet time for calls, or there are time-sensitive tasks due, blocking out the time in advance helps both parents stay on top of projects. 

Stay as physically present as possible during school work time. Being close at hand can nip problems in the bud. If you’re present to answer questions and help keep kids on track, work goes much more smoothly.

If you have more than one child at home and they are different ages, you may want to stagger their school work. By doing so, you can give as much attention as needed to each child. With fewer distractions from siblings, the work might get done more quickly, ultimately saving you time.

Make sure outdoor time and physical activity are part of the daily routine. Staying cooped up at home can make anyone feel irritable. Fresh air, sunlight and exercise are essential for adults and kids alike. Build breaks and time outside into your schedule.

Limit screen time. There is an understandable temptation to hand a child a screen to occupy their time and get some peace at home. In a pinch, this is fine, but it is certainly not a winning strategy day in and out. Kids become disconnected from us when they use screens, and therefore, are less likely to follow our guidance. Instead of screens, Dr. Laura Markham suggests using bags of sensory toys to occupy small children. I suggest that parents of older kids keep a “bag of tricks” that comes out when you absolutely need quiet. Stock it with novel activities like puzzles, coloring books, and play-doh. Let your child know that once the call is completed or the assignment is submitted, it will be time to pack up the bag and you can play together instead.

Make use of nap times and bedtimes. Some days, despite your best efforts and intentions, it won’t be possible to get work done while your children are awake. Push off what you can and know that you are making the best of a challenging situation.

Get up early to work uninterrupted. If you need quiet time to work on projects, rise before the little ones and put some time in.

Make your work station work for you. Whether you’re nursing on the couch with a laptop nearby, or have a desk set up at home, take time to set it up to make it work. For younger kids, set up a cozy nook nearby with books and quiet toys. Set up a family work center if older kids are home so you can keep each other on task. Make sure you’ve got water close at hand and minimize distractions.

Have a quick family meeting with a mini meditation each morning. Use the “elevator technique” or butterfly taps and breathing to get centered and launched on your day.

ADVICE BY AGE: BABY

Use a baby carrier/sling/swing. Having your child nestled close to you can be comforting for both of you. If you need to set your child down, set up a swing so it’ll be close to your work station. Use a boppy pillow if you are nursing and need to take calls.

ADVICE BY AGE: TODDLER

Expect your child to be able to focus on tasks for 1-2 minutes per year of life.

Use children’s audio books to buy yourself some time. Have your child use headphones while listening to a story while you work.

Use a sensory bag or “bag of tricks” when you need to concentrate. Break out quiet, novel toys that get packed up once you’re ready to play. Make an agreement that once the call/email is done, you’ll play together.

ADVICE BY AGE: SCHOOL AGE

Work nearby so you’re able to answer questions and keep everyone on task.

Help set up zoom/FaceTime sessions with their school friends to combat isolation and keep them connected to friends and peers.

Use a “boredom jar.” Have the kids brainstorm activities to do during down times and write them on pieces of paper. When you’re out of ideas, direct kids to the jar.

COUPLE TIME

Have daily check-ins with your partner to avoid “ships in the night” syndrome.

Prioritize self care: shower, get dressed, exercise, connect with friends, drink water, eat regularly.

Acknowledge the strain. There is a lot of pressure on most families now so go easy on yourself and those around you.

We’ll get through this!