Of all of the movies nominated for a 2025 Oscar, one film stood out to me as a therapist specializing in the stresses working mothers face: If I Had Legs I’d Kick You. It was an intense, well-made look at a mother and wife drowning in stress.
What was a semi-horror for most audiences could very well have looked like a mockumentary for many of my patients and working parents everywhere: Her daughter has a mysterious illness (possibly psychosomatic) requiring constant care, her husband is out of town and is critical of her parenting, her apartment is damaged and rendered unlivable, and she has a million other demands on her time, energy, patience, and at times, her sanity. She also has a high-stress job working as a psychiatrist and helping patients work through their own issues and traumas.
The main character, played brilliantly by actress Rose Byrne, starts to buckle and fold under the pressure. She turns to drinking to ease her stress, gets into screaming arguments with the people around her, and neglects her child for long stretches. She can barely sleep, much less function.
Byrne’s character isn’t the only one succumbing to the strains of everyday existence. In one scene, one of her patients with a newborn baby simply leaves in the middle of a therapy session stranding Byrne’s character with a screaming and abandoned child.
Perhaps the most astute element of the movie is how it shows her isolation. Both her daughter and her husband spend most of the movie largely unseen but always heard, creating an intense claustrophobic effect. Everyone seems to need or expect things from her, but they barely seem to acknowledge her existence, much less her feelings.
What may sound over the top for many viewers is probably all too familiar for others. Lack of support, constant stress, and an ongoing litany of new problems that require immediate attention are just what everyday life looks like to many mothers trying to juggle too many things at once.
It would be easy to criticize many of the main character’s choices, but doing so misses the point entirely. Rather than point fingers, it’s essential for parents to build networks of support for themselves and their partners. It’s also important to make time to seek therapy and to build stress-coping strategies before life comes down crashing around your ears (almost literally in this film’s case).
If any of this sounds familiar, contact me at Mommygroove.com today. Don’t let If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You to be a mirror of your experience. You deserve to be heard, to be seen, and to be helped.
