Five Easy Ways to Deepen Your Relationship With Your Child Today

Even when you feel like it’s a lost cause, it’s never too late to connect with your child and improve your relationship. Whether you have a toddler or a teen, they need to feel you are on their side and love them through even their most challenging behaviors.

Here are five easy ways to connect:

Be aware of distractions. If half of your mind is busy considering a work problem, it can be terribly difficult to be present with your child. And your kid will feel that distance. The same goes for screens, which are infinitely distracting for young and old—by design. Put the screens away. Tell yourself the work can wait for later. Make a conscious choice to be present for your child.

Reconnect physically. Separating and reuniting are prime opportunities to establish connection. Hug your child hello and good bye. Be enthusiastic upon greeting them. Use touch and eye contact to convey you will and did miss them and can’t wait to hear about their day. Allowing your child to slink home without much fanfare can convey disinterest, the antithesis of connection!

Laugh. Laughing unlocks stress hormones allowing anxieties to dissipate. I can’t think of a more enjoyable way to forge a connection! Create opportunities to laugh with your child on a daily basis. With little ones be silly and playful. With older children tell funny stories and invite them to share. Watch snippets of comedians or cat videos. Whatever gets the giggles going is great.

Take neighborhood walks. Strolling together can be a great opportunity to converse and connect. There is something about not being stared at that can provoke sharing by kids. (The same can apply to car rides.) The relaxed pace of a walk, even done in silence, can foster a sense of connection. Usually, though, kids will open up to share what’s going on in their lives, provided they have an attentive listener. So ask questions and avoid lecturing. Demonstrate you want to know what’s going on in your child’s world.

Share a meal. It can be extremely difficult for some families to pull off a joint meal where everyone is at the same table at the same time. And yet, eating together is truly valuable. It demonstrates a chance to slow down and communicate about the day, share news of successes and strategize about problems. Studies show that families that do eat together have stronger relationships, better family functioning and better parental emotional health.

You likely already do some of these things, but aim for greater consistency and/or try something new!